FINALLY! After waiting forever, I finally landed a job - and a good one at that! I've been here for exactly 7 days since September 10. And so far, it's great! The people are really nice, great location, great office, great stuff. haha As of the moment, the reason why I'm blogging here in the office is because I've done all that I have to do, as well as something which I didn't have to do. But oh well. It's all good. :)
So, it was my birthday last week. I am now officially an adult. Crap. Haha Had lunch with Mic in Greenbelt, kinda gay, but who cares, we're best buds. Had dinner at Friday's in Bonifacio High Street with my "group," bill c/o King =P I love having rich and generous friends :D After dinner, we went to Ascend Club in High Street as well. All in all, it was a great night! Oh and by the way, we just planned it the night before hahaha spontaneous gatherings are great :))
Hmmm what else can I say? Oh yeah. We can wear anything to work =P as long as we look presentable coz you never know when you'll need to go to 6750 for a P&G meeting. Crappy thing is, all the girls here have boyfriends. Hay. Guess it's not yet time to have a better half.
Eventful Monday
So I got my stitches out today...apparently there were 3 stitches in my toe. You might ask the sensation I felt while the stitches were being yanked out one by one. Gahd. It was like my toe was sliced with a sharp knife three freaking times!!!! Oh well, at least it's all over now. Finally. I can exercise again. HA! ROTFL =)) Let's put it this way: now, I DON'T have reasons NOT to exercide. hahaha I really need to do some exercises. Crap.
My toe now has a "battle" scar :))
I saw a shed of light today. Thank You God for Mondays. I got 2 calls actually. I always get excited whenever I receive a call and I see that it's either an unknown mobile number or a land line number from Metro Manila; and whenever the caller's not from a company, I get so disappointed and frustrated that I become cranky all of a sudden. Well anyway the two calls that I got were, thankfully, both from companies that I was actually expecting.
The first one was from OOCL (Philippines) Inc., for the Account Executive position. My interview's for Friday and it's with the President of OOCL here in the Philippines. I'm so nervous. I don't wanna think about what the interview means or what it implies. I don't wanna say it out loud or share it with a lot of people, as I've done so in the past. I've had it. I'm keeping quiet until I know for certain already. I like the position and the benefits (they're gonna give me a car and gas allowance!) but I'm kinda scared of the pressure and the "quota" (coz there really isn't any). I hope I can do it.
On the other hand, the second call I got was from Carat. Cherry actually sent me an e-mail from Jam regarding the position. It's for an Associate Communications Planner. Basically like the one I applied to before for Mindshare. Field of media again. A very hyped and fast-paced industry. I really like this one again. huge sigh. Plus, I'd probably be working with Jam. hehehe =P it's just a little crush I have. =P
Soooooo....I don't know what to do. A week or 2 ago, I told myself that whatever offer comes my way, I'd grab it. No questions asked. I really want AND need a job already. Let's see what happens. 'Til then!
My toe now has a "battle" scar :))
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I saw a shed of light today. Thank You God for Mondays. I got 2 calls actually. I always get excited whenever I receive a call and I see that it's either an unknown mobile number or a land line number from Metro Manila; and whenever the caller's not from a company, I get so disappointed and frustrated that I become cranky all of a sudden. Well anyway the two calls that I got were, thankfully, both from companies that I was actually expecting.
The first one was from OOCL (Philippines) Inc., for the Account Executive position. My interview's for Friday and it's with the President of OOCL here in the Philippines. I'm so nervous. I don't wanna think about what the interview means or what it implies. I don't wanna say it out loud or share it with a lot of people, as I've done so in the past. I've had it. I'm keeping quiet until I know for certain already. I like the position and the benefits (they're gonna give me a car and gas allowance!) but I'm kinda scared of the pressure and the "quota" (coz there really isn't any). I hope I can do it.
On the other hand, the second call I got was from Carat. Cherry actually sent me an e-mail from Jam regarding the position. It's for an Associate Communications Planner. Basically like the one I applied to before for Mindshare. Field of media again. A very hyped and fast-paced industry. I really like this one again. huge sigh. Plus, I'd probably be working with Jam. hehehe =P it's just a little crush I have. =P
Soooooo....I don't know what to do. A week or 2 ago, I told myself that whatever offer comes my way, I'd grab it. No questions asked. I really want AND need a job already. Let's see what happens. 'Til then!
A Rather Normal Day
September's here already. -BER months. and still, nothing's changed since graduation. Aside probably from the fact that I now know more about the "real" world, or at least part of it.
fucking realities:
-It's really difficult to get the job you want.
-More often than not, you will never work in the company you want.
-You become envious of your friends who have great jobs albeit they don't appreciate what they have because they're so ungrateful.
-Parents or relatives pressure you or if not, you pressure yourself, which is my case, and it's worse, seriously. My confidence, esteem, etc goes down big time.
I can go on and on but I'm not in the mood. Haayyy. I hate it. I really do. It's not like I'm not trying. Lord knows I've been exerting my best efforts. I really think I'm just out of luck. BIG SIGH.
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On a lighter note, DIE HARD Movies MARATHON today in Star Movies hahahaha!!! I didn't think I'd like it but when I watched the last installment of Die Hard, the fourth one, it was really good! Amazing even for Bruce Willis who's really really old. =)) hahaha lol
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Which one do I want? Nintendo Wii, Xbox 360, or PS3?
I think I like the wii best because not only is it the cheapest, but it's also the most fun! I've read a lot of reviews and they all say that even though the wii takes a step back when it comes to the technical specifications like HD capability, high-speed processors, etc, it more than makes up for it with its REVOLUTIONARY design and unique and FUN gameplay.
And besides, the PS3's way too expensive for me! I don't think I could buy a PS3, especially if I'm buying it with my own money.
For the Xbox 360, I think I'll buy this after I buy the wii, when I've saved enough money for luxuries. I really like it as well coz, yeah there will be times when I'd just want to sit down and let my hands and/or fingers do all the work. I don't wanna be standing up, waving my hands around all the time. As I read in one of the comments in the cnet review of the three consoles, one guy would rather have the controller on one hand and a bottle or can of beer on the other. haha
I'm sold. I'm really set on getting the Wii. BUT FIRST, a job =|
fucking realities:
-It's really difficult to get the job you want.
-More often than not, you will never work in the company you want.
-You become envious of your friends who have great jobs albeit they don't appreciate what they have because they're so ungrateful.
-Parents or relatives pressure you or if not, you pressure yourself, which is my case, and it's worse, seriously. My confidence, esteem, etc goes down big time.
I can go on and on but I'm not in the mood. Haayyy. I hate it. I really do. It's not like I'm not trying. Lord knows I've been exerting my best efforts. I really think I'm just out of luck. BIG SIGH.
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On a lighter note, DIE HARD Movies MARATHON today in Star Movies hahahaha!!! I didn't think I'd like it but when I watched the last installment of Die Hard, the fourth one, it was really good! Amazing even for Bruce Willis who's really really old. =)) hahaha lol
-------
Which one do I want? Nintendo Wii, Xbox 360, or PS3?
I think I like the wii best because not only is it the cheapest, but it's also the most fun! I've read a lot of reviews and they all say that even though the wii takes a step back when it comes to the technical specifications like HD capability, high-speed processors, etc, it more than makes up for it with its REVOLUTIONARY design and unique and FUN gameplay.
And besides, the PS3's way too expensive for me! I don't think I could buy a PS3, especially if I'm buying it with my own money.
For the Xbox 360, I think I'll buy this after I buy the wii, when I've saved enough money for luxuries. I really like it as well coz, yeah there will be times when I'd just want to sit down and let my hands and/or fingers do all the work. I don't wanna be standing up, waving my hands around all the time. As I read in one of the comments in the cnet review of the three consoles, one guy would rather have the controller on one hand and a bottle or can of beer on the other. haha
I'm sold. I'm really set on getting the Wii. BUT FIRST, a job =|
Pathetic
Yes, I know I'm pathetic. I'm depressed. Self-pity has become an everyday feeling. I'm a sad, pathetic loser. I can't snap out of it. All the odds are against me. Fate. God. Destiny. Whatever. It's like I'm paying for all the sins I've done. Well, in that case, I might not get anything I want. Ever.
Another Stupid Entry
April-May-June-July.
4 months have already gone by, and August is coming to an end. Still, no job. What is it? Is it me? Am I too picky? Or maybe I’m just not that good as I thought I was. Why, the people who had 1- or even 3-month vacations even got a job faster than I. This is so frustrating. I’ve had dozens of interviews from dozens of companies. I’ve had the opportunities. I’ve been given the chances. I’d like to believe that I did my best in my interviews and exams. Am I not right for a good, satisfying career? Don’t I deserve to get what I want? Now I’m just sad. Really, really sad. I thought that my education would be enough. Crazy. Stupid even. Now, I’m fatter and I don’t even know my English that well anymore. This is really sad. I just wanna go back to school. Lord, please help me.
Now I’m really feeling the pressure. The little checklist that I had before…I accidentally erased it from my phone. Good thing. If I still had it, I’d be frustrated even more. I can’t take this any longer. I need a job. I’ll take anything that pays good. I’m desperate.
Another thing, at this point in my life, I’ve never felt so alone. There’s no one I can talk to. The group that I usually hang out with, well, let’s just say I can’t afford to hang with them anymore. That group’s composed of my friends who have high-paying or at least decent-paying jobs and those who have an endless supply of money. I’m sick and tired of “pretending,” so-to-speak. Plus, my birthday’s coming up. I really didn’t want to celebrate anymore because of the fact that I still don’t have a freaking job. Is it peer pressure? Yeah I guess so. What if I lied to them? Told them that my family planned something for me…nah, it won’t work. It can if I stick to it. Damn it. I’m living a double life. Triple. Quadruple even. I can’t stand this. I think I need to see a life coach. Or a therapist. Someone that can help me.
Back to my endless search for a decent job. I think I valued myself too much. Was I that arrogant that no one would hire me? Am I that kind of a person? Of an Atenean? I don’t think so. I’d like to think I walked out of the Ateneo with the proper values and skills. But why wouldn’t any company give me a chance? I don’t wanna think about this anymore. Maybe this is just a real case of bad luck. I mean, in all of my interviews, well, almost all, they were fun, and I think good even. My resume, as most of my interviewers shared, was very impressive. There should be no reason for my lingering unemployment. I hate it. I really do. If this is all just a matter of luck, fate’s punishing me for something. For not being honest with myself. I think I do need therapy.
4 months have already gone by, and August is coming to an end. Still, no job. What is it? Is it me? Am I too picky? Or maybe I’m just not that good as I thought I was. Why, the people who had 1- or even 3-month vacations even got a job faster than I. This is so frustrating. I’ve had dozens of interviews from dozens of companies. I’ve had the opportunities. I’ve been given the chances. I’d like to believe that I did my best in my interviews and exams. Am I not right for a good, satisfying career? Don’t I deserve to get what I want? Now I’m just sad. Really, really sad. I thought that my education would be enough. Crazy. Stupid even. Now, I’m fatter and I don’t even know my English that well anymore. This is really sad. I just wanna go back to school. Lord, please help me.
Now I’m really feeling the pressure. The little checklist that I had before…I accidentally erased it from my phone. Good thing. If I still had it, I’d be frustrated even more. I can’t take this any longer. I need a job. I’ll take anything that pays good. I’m desperate.
Another thing, at this point in my life, I’ve never felt so alone. There’s no one I can talk to. The group that I usually hang out with, well, let’s just say I can’t afford to hang with them anymore. That group’s composed of my friends who have high-paying or at least decent-paying jobs and those who have an endless supply of money. I’m sick and tired of “pretending,” so-to-speak. Plus, my birthday’s coming up. I really didn’t want to celebrate anymore because of the fact that I still don’t have a freaking job. Is it peer pressure? Yeah I guess so. What if I lied to them? Told them that my family planned something for me…nah, it won’t work. It can if I stick to it. Damn it. I’m living a double life. Triple. Quadruple even. I can’t stand this. I think I need to see a life coach. Or a therapist. Someone that can help me.
Back to my endless search for a decent job. I think I valued myself too much. Was I that arrogant that no one would hire me? Am I that kind of a person? Of an Atenean? I don’t think so. I’d like to think I walked out of the Ateneo with the proper values and skills. But why wouldn’t any company give me a chance? I don’t wanna think about this anymore. Maybe this is just a real case of bad luck. I mean, in all of my interviews, well, almost all, they were fun, and I think good even. My resume, as most of my interviewers shared, was very impressive. There should be no reason for my lingering unemployment. I hate it. I really do. If this is all just a matter of luck, fate’s punishing me for something. For not being honest with myself. I think I do need therapy.
Single and Unemployed
so far, there's been one way to describe my life these days. BORING. nothing's happening. looking for a job is stressful enough as it is. what more if i'm looking for a partner. anyway, that's for later. now, job. f*ck.
could there be anything more frustrating than looking for a job??? the endless waiting for callbacks, for replies, for emails, for a mere text messsage! fine. there are a lot of applicants. but you also have lots of employees to accommodate us! gad! do we really have to wait for weeks before we can be informed if we're rejected or even being considered for the position?? it's just unfair. and to think, all of my friends, well at least most of my friends who don't have jobs yet, including me, are having a very difficult time in looking for a job already. what about those who didn't graduate from up ateneo or la salle? cmon, let's be honest. SOME companies do discriminate. rumors before were saying that there are even companies who have 2 piles of resumes. one's for up ateneo or la salle graduates and the other one's for everyone else :| i didnt like that. i didnt like that at all. superior much? that's the kind of thinking that causes instability and brain drain in this country. i won't go into that. for now. job hunting. frustrating, expensive, time-consuming if i was doing something. but im a freaking bum. bum. bum. bum. bum. i don't feel good right now because of this. i don't feel like i am. but that can't be. i miss philo classes.
do you take the non believers?
coz i'm a non believer.
-Non Believer by La Rocca
haayy. it's been almost 5 months, going on 6 months since our break-up. i have to be honest, and it's the first time that i'm gonna say this. nothing felt different. i admit to being a bad boyfriend. i admit that i didn't put my best efforts into our relationship. why? why was i an ass? well, maybe i wanted some. maybe i just needed it. yeah, that's one part. i believe i was still waiting...hoping that something (someone) from the past would be something (someone) of the present. i think she was the one person i loved during college. the one who, for the longest time, i've been trying to convince others around me that i didn't feel the same way anymore. that i didn't like her anymore. why the f*ck did i get so caught up? stupid. senseless. back then, i managed to convince everyone including myself that it was over. that i was done with whatever feelings or infatuation or hallucination i had for that person. but here i am. making this entry. a couple of weeks back, i went to the beach with a lot of friends. (i had the time of my life!) anyway, she was there with our group. (we're pretty close even after an untoward incident sometime back. ergo, "funny relationship" according to her.) every night was a night of alcohol and dancing and drunkenness and for some of us, even drugs. on one of the nights, the girls had this crazy idea: kissing party. everyone had to kiss everyone. girl-girl. then girl-boy. boy-boy? no way. haha. so i kissed her. it was a smack. nothing. on our last night, we were both kinda drunk early on. she was drunk. i was drunk enough. we kissed. and we kissed. i can't remember for how long. 10 seconds? maybe more. i dont know if anyone saw us. she can't even remember. i do.
anyway, my point is that for some reason, i felt something when we kissed. i didnt want to. i know i shouldnt have felt anything coz it was bora, we were drunk. anything that goes on there, should stay there, as the infamous saying goes. but oh well. what happened, happened already and i can't deny what i felt. i guess i'll just spend these days just doing what i do best. and by the way, it doesn't help that she's spending all of her time with my roommate for 5 months. and that we all see each other very often. oh well. i did it once. i can do it again.
there's another one that i wish to write about. and i will. next time.
could there be anything more frustrating than looking for a job??? the endless waiting for callbacks, for replies, for emails, for a mere text messsage! fine. there are a lot of applicants. but you also have lots of employees to accommodate us! gad! do we really have to wait for weeks before we can be informed if we're rejected or even being considered for the position?? it's just unfair. and to think, all of my friends, well at least most of my friends who don't have jobs yet, including me, are having a very difficult time in looking for a job already. what about those who didn't graduate from up ateneo or la salle? cmon, let's be honest. SOME companies do discriminate. rumors before were saying that there are even companies who have 2 piles of resumes. one's for up ateneo or la salle graduates and the other one's for everyone else :| i didnt like that. i didnt like that at all. superior much? that's the kind of thinking that causes instability and brain drain in this country. i won't go into that. for now. job hunting. frustrating, expensive, time-consuming if i was doing something. but im a freaking bum. bum. bum. bum. bum. i don't feel good right now because of this. i don't feel like i am. but that can't be. i miss philo classes.
do you take the non believers?
coz i'm a non believer.
-Non Believer by La Rocca
haayy. it's been almost 5 months, going on 6 months since our break-up. i have to be honest, and it's the first time that i'm gonna say this. nothing felt different. i admit to being a bad boyfriend. i admit that i didn't put my best efforts into our relationship. why? why was i an ass? well, maybe i wanted some. maybe i just needed it. yeah, that's one part. i believe i was still waiting...hoping that something (someone) from the past would be something (someone) of the present. i think she was the one person i loved during college. the one who, for the longest time, i've been trying to convince others around me that i didn't feel the same way anymore. that i didn't like her anymore. why the f*ck did i get so caught up? stupid. senseless. back then, i managed to convince everyone including myself that it was over. that i was done with whatever feelings or infatuation or hallucination i had for that person. but here i am. making this entry. a couple of weeks back, i went to the beach with a lot of friends. (i had the time of my life!) anyway, she was there with our group. (we're pretty close even after an untoward incident sometime back. ergo, "funny relationship" according to her.) every night was a night of alcohol and dancing and drunkenness and for some of us, even drugs. on one of the nights, the girls had this crazy idea: kissing party. everyone had to kiss everyone. girl-girl. then girl-boy. boy-boy? no way. haha. so i kissed her. it was a smack. nothing. on our last night, we were both kinda drunk early on. she was drunk. i was drunk enough. we kissed. and we kissed. i can't remember for how long. 10 seconds? maybe more. i dont know if anyone saw us. she can't even remember. i do.
anyway, my point is that for some reason, i felt something when we kissed. i didnt want to. i know i shouldnt have felt anything coz it was bora, we were drunk. anything that goes on there, should stay there, as the infamous saying goes. but oh well. what happened, happened already and i can't deny what i felt. i guess i'll just spend these days just doing what i do best. and by the way, it doesn't help that she's spending all of her time with my roommate for 5 months. and that we all see each other very often. oh well. i did it once. i can do it again.
there's another one that i wish to write about. and i will. next time.
Stupid Jerk
Stupid jerk
Think positive
But it’s difficult
I know
That’s how you do it
Face it
That’s the secret.
I think
I wanna have that
What?
What Lucas had
HCM?
No, stupid.
Then what?
I wanna know if I made any difference in this world. If I affected people’s lives in any way, especially my friends. They’re all I’ve got. I wanna know what they would be like if I turned out to be more or less of a man, of a person.
You can’t know that.
Why not?
Coz those things only happen in dreams. Or TV for that matter.
Why can’t I know? Why can’t anyone know? Everyone should know.
Why?
So that people would feel worthy. It’s important, you know? To feel worthy every once in a while. So that I’d have a reason to go on.
You sound crazy.
I know I do.
Crap.
Think positive
But it’s difficult
I know
That’s how you do it
Face it
That’s the secret.
I think
I wanna have that
What?
What Lucas had
HCM?
No, stupid.
Then what?
I wanna know if I made any difference in this world. If I affected people’s lives in any way, especially my friends. They’re all I’ve got. I wanna know what they would be like if I turned out to be more or less of a man, of a person.
You can’t know that.
Why not?
Coz those things only happen in dreams. Or TV for that matter.
Why can’t I know? Why can’t anyone know? Everyone should know.
Why?
So that people would feel worthy. It’s important, you know? To feel worthy every once in a while. So that I’d have a reason to go on.
You sound crazy.
I know I do.
Crap.
i cant even write a proper subject
i hate everything right now.
just lost my phone last friday, august 24. f*cking drew's. can't even hold a lost and found item. i was so f*cking wasted. can't even remember how i got home.
and now..for this week:
Pass 3 for Business Plan
History Long Test (Noli and El Fili)
Creed Exercise (Theology)
Aquinas Quiz (Philosophy)
Economics Quiz
hay nako. the life of an atenean.
again, i hate everything right now.
my ls groupmates are "off" or i dunno. we apparently dont work well together...we're not as efficient and as effective as i thought we were gonna be. and they're my "colleagues" until the end of the year. pfft. hope everything turns out ok, fine even.
my academic life's beginning to take a turn for the worse. =( i failed my eco long test. i failed my histo unit test. i get low on my philo papers. i got an especially low grade and a SPECIAL MENTION from my theology teacher who accuses me of being "extraordinarily prejudiced" against Christianity. i also get low grades in my individual cases from my good-for-nothing ls (strategy formulation) class. i also got a passing mark for my first exam in polsci. i hate it. i hate it. i hate it. i mean, i was never conscious with my grades but come on man, cut me some slack. im working my ass off here.
know what i also hate? my life. (probably grounds for extraordinary prejudice eh? =P) dont get me wrong, i love that im alive. thankful, even. i just really hate it right now! right now, i wish i was living someone else's life. i just cant stand it anymore...all the unspoken words that i never wanna tell any of them...this sucks. this really sucks. =(
just lost my phone last friday, august 24. f*cking drew's. can't even hold a lost and found item. i was so f*cking wasted. can't even remember how i got home.
and now..for this week:
Pass 3 for Business Plan
History Long Test (Noli and El Fili)
Creed Exercise (Theology)
Aquinas Quiz (Philosophy)
Economics Quiz
hay nako. the life of an atenean.
again, i hate everything right now.
my ls groupmates are "off" or i dunno. we apparently dont work well together...we're not as efficient and as effective as i thought we were gonna be. and they're my "colleagues" until the end of the year. pfft. hope everything turns out ok, fine even.
my academic life's beginning to take a turn for the worse. =( i failed my eco long test. i failed my histo unit test. i get low on my philo papers. i got an especially low grade and a SPECIAL MENTION from my theology teacher who accuses me of being "extraordinarily prejudiced" against Christianity. i also get low grades in my individual cases from my good-for-nothing ls (strategy formulation) class. i also got a passing mark for my first exam in polsci. i hate it. i hate it. i hate it. i mean, i was never conscious with my grades but come on man, cut me some slack. im working my ass off here.
know what i also hate? my life. (probably grounds for extraordinary prejudice eh? =P) dont get me wrong, i love that im alive. thankful, even. i just really hate it right now! right now, i wish i was living someone else's life. i just cant stand it anymore...all the unspoken words that i never wanna tell any of them...this sucks. this really sucks. =(
Start Fresh?
everyone's telling me to start fresh.
act like nothing happened.
how could i? im trying but it's just too hard. why is she so clueless? or isn't she?
i need some damn answers!
act like nothing happened.
how could i? im trying but it's just too hard. why is she so clueless? or isn't she?
i need some damn answers!
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