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Loving Work

I'm enjoying it! :) Or maybe it's because of the party we had last weekend. It was a hell of a party. Lots of things, lots of information...bonding all the way. Went home 9 or 10 am already. Finally found my "niche" in the group.

As I mentioned, lots of things happened at that party - but two major things are the highlight of my night. One is I finally got to try some "candy," as my office mate calls it. I didn't even expect to be drunk or wasted that night, let alone stoned! So we took half a pill each. There were 3 of us who took. Those two, after about 30 minutes, started feeling the effect already. Light-headedness, sweaty arms, dehydration, and all other symptoms. As for me, I felt nothing. Zilch. I was on the verge of losing hope and was gonna ask for another one but alas, we finished it all. So there we were. They were having the time of their lives in our little group with no one else knowing but the three of us. Shockingly, when the effect wore off, I got hit. And man, I loved it so much! Now I understand :) I was so happy that night.

Another big thing happened at that party. But this one happened in the morning already, while everyone else was asleep. I really didn't expect it as well. Who the f*** would expect it? You thought you knew someone...but it's nice. I think. We went on a date already after that...but that's for another blog altogether. Seriously. That date was so i-dont-know-how-to-describe-it kind of a thing.

So as of now, I'm happy :) Really.

An Unfinished Entry

I don't think I'm happy. I want more. I'm always bored. I do nothing. Give me something to do demmit. I'm not some kid who doesn't know how to do anything. Anyone can make mistakes, especially when you do nothing for the longest time then you're expected to be able to finish a task in a whif. A task that, is so overwhelmingly simple that you end up missing something.


but i'm okay now with work :D

Post-Bonfire Thoughts

What am i doing right now?

Waiting for my VERY responsible sister. Ok, fine, I lost my keys to the condo so I can't get in. But give me a break! She was supposed to be back hours ago!!! I have no idea what I'm gonna do. She told me she'll be going home. Who knew she's be going home when the sun has already risen?!? I'm so sleepy. I'm too tired, and I'm still a little bit drunk. What the hell am I gonna do now?? I wanna lie down so bad :((

Anyway, I attended the Ateneo Bonfire last night. Got away from the office at around 7 pm already and arrived at Ateneo at 9 pm!! It was traffic everywhere, almost similar to a Friday night because of the holiday (End of Ramadan). THERE WERE TOO MANY PEOPLE - to the point that it wasn't fun anymore. haha Well, the whole point really of the bonfire is to celebrate the players. Ateneo won 4 championships this season! (Men's Seniors and Juniors Basketball, GS team won something as well, and the Swimming team - congrats!!) As we all know, the most advertised and the most popular is the Blue Eagles' win against the Green Archers. 6 years mehn! It's been 6 years since they last met in the Finals and since the Blue Eagles' last championship! Kudos to everyone in the team!!! Aside from all the controversies and issues regarding the championship, it was a well-fought game and a well-deserved championship. THANK YOU!

Regarding the bonfire, it would've been a lot of fun if it hadn't rained in the afternoon. The whole field was like a mud bath! There were so many people. I didn't even get to see some of my friends who I know went to the bonfire. Even calling/texting was very difficult inside the Ateneo campus. Buying food and drinks in itself was already a very tedious task. Looking for someone is just plain horrifying. We've endured the losses for 6 years in the UAAP Senior's Basketball. We deserve this - each and every Atenean. I just love the spirit of the Ateneo community, especially when it's for something as grand and as important as this one. In times of victory, sure, we gather and make a big thing out of it. But when we lose, which is even more important, we hold our heads up high. We "claim our runners-up trophies." We applaud and praise the other team for their winning efforts. That's how an Atenean loses. I will never get tired of attending such events, of buying/looking for scalpers for tickets to the games, of cheering as hard as I can especially when the going gets tough.

One big fight indeed.


Bum No More!

FINALLY! After waiting forever, I finally landed a job - and a good one at that! I've been here for exactly 7 days since September 10. And so far, it's great! The people are really nice, great location, great office, great stuff. haha As of the moment, the reason why I'm blogging here in the office is because I've done all that I have to do, as well as something which I didn't have to do. But oh well. It's all good. :)

So, it was my birthday last week. I am now officially an adult. Crap. Haha Had lunch with Mic in Greenbelt, kinda gay, but who cares, we're best buds. Had dinner at Friday's in Bonifacio High Street with my "group," bill c/o King =P I love having rich and generous friends :D After dinner, we went to Ascend Club in High Street as well. All in all, it was a great night! Oh and by the way, we just planned it the night before hahaha spontaneous gatherings are great :))

Hmmm what else can I say? Oh yeah. We can wear anything to work =P as long as we look presentable coz you never know when you'll need to go to 6750 for a P&G meeting. Crappy thing is, all the girls here have boyfriends. Hay. Guess it's not yet time to have a better half.

Eventful Monday

So I got my stitches out today...apparently there were 3 stitches in my toe. You might ask the sensation I felt while the stitches were being yanked out one by one. Gahd. It was like my toe was sliced with a sharp knife three freaking times!!!! Oh well, at least it's all over now. Finally. I can exercise again. HA! ROTFL =)) Let's put it this way: now, I DON'T have reasons NOT to exercide. hahaha I really need to do some exercises. Crap.

My toe now has a "battle" scar :))


I saw a shed of light today. Thank You God for Mondays. I got 2 calls actually. I always get excited whenever I receive a call and I see that it's either an unknown mobile number or a land line number from Metro Manila; and whenever the caller's not from a company, I get so disappointed and frustrated that I become cranky all of a sudden. Well anyway the two calls that I got were, thankfully, both from companies that I was actually expecting.

The first one was from OOCL (Philippines) Inc., for the Account Executive position. My interview's for Friday and it's with the President of OOCL here in the Philippines. I'm so nervous. I don't wanna think about what the interview means or what it implies. I don't wanna say it out loud or share it with a lot of people, as I've done so in the past. I've had it. I'm keeping quiet until I know for certain already. I like the position and the benefits (they're gonna give me a car and gas allowance!) but I'm kinda scared of the pressure and the "quota" (coz there really isn't any). I hope I can do it.

On the other hand, the second call I got was from Carat. Cherry actually sent me an e-mail from Jam regarding the position. It's for an Associate Communications Planner. Basically like the one I applied to before for Mindshare. Field of media again. A very hyped and fast-paced industry. I really like this one again. huge sigh. Plus, I'd probably be working with Jam. hehehe =P it's just a little crush I have. =P

Soooooo....I don't know what to do. A week or 2 ago, I told myself that whatever offer comes my way, I'd grab it. No questions asked. I really want AND need a job already. Let's see what happens. 'Til then!

A Rather Normal Day

September's here already. -BER months. and still, nothing's changed since graduation. Aside probably from the fact that I now know more about the "real" world, or at least part of it.

fucking realities:
-It's really difficult to get the job you want.
-More often than not, you will never work in the company you want.
-You become envious of your friends who have great jobs albeit they don't appreciate what they have because they're so ungrateful.
-Parents or relatives pressure you or if not, you pressure yourself, which is my case, and it's worse, seriously. My confidence, esteem, etc goes down big time.

I can go on and on but I'm not in the mood. Haayyy. I hate it. I really do. It's not like I'm not trying. Lord knows I've been exerting my best efforts. I really think I'm just out of luck. BIG SIGH.


On a lighter note, DIE HARD Movies MARATHON today in Star Movies hahahaha!!! I didn't think I'd like it but when I watched the last installment of Die Hard, the fourth one, it was really good! Amazing even for Bruce Willis who's really really old. =)) hahaha lol


Which one do I want? Nintendo Wii, Xbox 360, or PS3?

I think I like the wii best because not only is it the cheapest, but it's also the most fun! I've read a lot of reviews and they all say that even though the wii takes a step back when it comes to the technical specifications like HD capability, high-speed processors, etc, it more than makes up for it with its REVOLUTIONARY design and unique and FUN gameplay.

And besides, the PS3's way too expensive for me! I don't think I could buy a PS3, especially if I'm buying it with my own money.

For the Xbox 360, I think I'll buy this after I buy the wii, when I've saved enough money for luxuries. I really like it as well coz, yeah there will be times when I'd just want to sit down and let my hands and/or fingers do all the work. I don't wanna be standing up, waving my hands around all the time. As I read in one of the comments in the cnet review of the three consoles, one guy would rather have the controller on one hand and a bottle or can of beer on the other. haha

I'm sold. I'm really set on getting the Wii. BUT FIRST, a job =|


Yes, I know I'm pathetic. I'm depressed. Self-pity has become an everyday feeling. I'm a sad, pathetic loser. I can't snap out of it. All the odds are against me. Fate. God. Destiny. Whatever. It's like I'm paying for all the sins I've done. Well, in that case, I might not get anything I want. Ever.

Another Stupid Entry


4 months have already gone by, and August is coming to an end. Still, no job. What is it? Is it me? Am I too picky? Or maybe I’m just not that good as I thought I was. Why, the people who had 1- or even 3-month vacations even got a job faster than I. This is so frustrating. I’ve had dozens of interviews from dozens of companies. I’ve had the opportunities. I’ve been given the chances. I’d like to believe that I did my best in my interviews and exams. Am I not right for a good, satisfying career? Don’t I deserve to get what I want? Now I’m just sad. Really, really sad. I thought that my education would be enough. Crazy. Stupid even. Now, I’m fatter and I don’t even know my English that well anymore. This is really sad. I just wanna go back to school. Lord, please help me.

Now I’m really feeling the pressure. The little checklist that I had before…I accidentally erased it from my phone. Good thing. If I still had it, I’d be frustrated even more. I can’t take this any longer. I need a job. I’ll take anything that pays good. I’m desperate.

Another thing, at this point in my life, I’ve never felt so alone. There’s no one I can talk to. The group that I usually hang out with, well, let’s just say I can’t afford to hang with them anymore. That group’s composed of my friends who have high-paying or at least decent-paying jobs and those who have an endless supply of money. I’m sick and tired of “pretending,” so-to-speak. Plus, my birthday’s coming up. I really didn’t want to celebrate anymore because of the fact that I still don’t have a freaking job. Is it peer pressure? Yeah I guess so. What if I lied to them? Told them that my family planned something for me…nah, it won’t work. It can if I stick to it. Damn it. I’m living a double life. Triple. Quadruple even. I can’t stand this. I think I need to see a life coach. Or a therapist. Someone that can help me.

Back to my endless search for a decent job. I think I valued myself too much. Was I that arrogant that no one would hire me? Am I that kind of a person? Of an Atenean? I don’t think so. I’d like to think I walked out of the Ateneo with the proper values and skills. But why wouldn’t any company give me a chance? I don’t wanna think about this anymore. Maybe this is just a real case of bad luck. I mean, in all of my interviews, well, almost all, they were fun, and I think good even. My resume, as most of my interviewers shared, was very impressive. There should be no reason for my lingering unemployment. I hate it. I really do. If this is all just a matter of luck, fate’s punishing me for something. For not being honest with myself. I think I do need therapy.

Single and Unemployed

so far, there's been one way to describe my life these days. BORING. nothing's happening. looking for a job is stressful enough as it is. what more if i'm looking for a partner. anyway, that's for later. now, job. f*ck.

could there be anything more frustrating than looking for a job??? the endless waiting for callbacks, for replies, for emails, for a mere text messsage! fine. there are a lot of applicants. but you also have lots of employees to accommodate us! gad! do we really have to wait for weeks before we can be informed if we're rejected or even being considered for the position?? it's just unfair. and to think, all of my friends, well at least most of my friends who don't have jobs yet, including me, are having a very difficult time in looking for a job already. what about those who didn't graduate from up ateneo or la salle? cmon, let's be honest. SOME companies do discriminate. rumors before were saying that there are even companies who have 2 piles of resumes. one's for up ateneo or la salle graduates and the other one's for everyone else :| i didnt like that. i didnt like that at all. superior much? that's the kind of thinking that causes instability and brain drain in this country. i won't go into that. for now. job hunting. frustrating, expensive, time-consuming if i was doing something. but im a freaking bum. bum. bum. bum. bum. i don't feel good right now because of this. i don't feel like i am. but that can't be. i miss philo classes.

do you take the non believers?
coz i'm a non believer.
-Non Believer by La Rocca

haayy. it's been almost 5 months, going on 6 months since our break-up. i have to be honest, and it's the first time that i'm gonna say this. nothing felt different. i admit to being a bad boyfriend. i admit that i didn't put my best efforts into our relationship. why? why was i an ass? well, maybe i wanted some. maybe i just needed it. yeah, that's one part. i believe i was still waiting...hoping that something (someone) from the past would be something (someone) of the present. i think she was the one person i loved during college. the one who, for the longest time, i've been trying to convince others around me that i didn't feel the same way anymore. that i didn't like her anymore. why the f*ck did i get so caught up? stupid. senseless. back then, i managed to convince everyone including myself that it was over. that i was done with whatever feelings or infatuation or hallucination i had for that person. but here i am. making this entry. a couple of weeks back, i went to the beach with a lot of friends. (i had the time of my life!) anyway, she was there with our group. (we're pretty close even after an untoward incident sometime back. ergo, "funny relationship" according to her.) every night was a night of alcohol and dancing and drunkenness and for some of us, even drugs. on one of the nights, the girls had this crazy idea: kissing party. everyone had to kiss everyone. girl-girl. then girl-boy. boy-boy? no way. haha. so i kissed her. it was a smack. nothing. on our last night, we were both kinda drunk early on. she was drunk. i was drunk enough. we kissed. and we kissed. i can't remember for how long. 10 seconds? maybe more. i dont know if anyone saw us. she can't even remember. i do.

anyway, my point is that for some reason, i felt something when we kissed. i didnt want to. i know i shouldnt have felt anything coz it was bora, we were drunk. anything that goes on there, should stay there, as the infamous saying goes. but oh well. what happened, happened already and i can't deny what i felt. i guess i'll just spend these days just doing what i do best. and by the way, it doesn't help that she's spending all of her time with my roommate for 5 months. and that we all see each other very often. oh well. i did it once. i can do it again.

there's another one that i wish to write about. and i will. next time.

Stupid Jerk

Stupid jerk
Think positive
But it’s difficult
I know
That’s how you do it
Face it
That’s the secret.
I think
I wanna have that
What Lucas had
No, stupid.
Then what?
I wanna know if I made any difference in this world. If I affected people’s lives in any way, especially my friends. They’re all I’ve got. I wanna know what they would be like if I turned out to be more or less of a man, of a person.
You can’t know that.
Why not?
Coz those things only happen in dreams. Or TV for that matter.
Why can’t I know? Why can’t anyone know? Everyone should know.
So that people would feel worthy. It’s important, you know? To feel worthy every once in a while. So that I’d have a reason to go on.
You sound crazy.
I know I do.

9 months. goodbye.

it's done.

i'm free.