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A Rather Normal Day

September's here already. -BER months. and still, nothing's changed since graduation. Aside probably from the fact that I now know more about the "real" world, or at least part of it.

fucking realities:
-It's really difficult to get the job you want.
-More often than not, you will never work in the company you want.
-You become envious of your friends who have great jobs albeit they don't appreciate what they have because they're so ungrateful.
-Parents or relatives pressure you or if not, you pressure yourself, which is my case, and it's worse, seriously. My confidence, esteem, etc goes down big time.

I can go on and on but I'm not in the mood. Haayyy. I hate it. I really do. It's not like I'm not trying. Lord knows I've been exerting my best efforts. I really think I'm just out of luck. BIG SIGH.


On a lighter note, DIE HARD Movies MARATHON today in Star Movies hahahaha!!! I didn't think I'd like it but when I watched the last installment of Die Hard, the fourth one, it was really good! Amazing even for Bruce Willis who's really really old. =)) hahaha lol


Which one do I want? Nintendo Wii, Xbox 360, or PS3?

I think I like the wii best because not only is it the cheapest, but it's also the most fun! I've read a lot of reviews and they all say that even though the wii takes a step back when it comes to the technical specifications like HD capability, high-speed processors, etc, it more than makes up for it with its REVOLUTIONARY design and unique and FUN gameplay.

And besides, the PS3's way too expensive for me! I don't think I could buy a PS3, especially if I'm buying it with my own money.

For the Xbox 360, I think I'll buy this after I buy the wii, when I've saved enough money for luxuries. I really like it as well coz, yeah there will be times when I'd just want to sit down and let my hands and/or fingers do all the work. I don't wanna be standing up, waving my hands around all the time. As I read in one of the comments in the cnet review of the three consoles, one guy would rather have the controller on one hand and a bottle or can of beer on the other. haha

I'm sold. I'm really set on getting the Wii. BUT FIRST, a job =|


Yes, I know I'm pathetic. I'm depressed. Self-pity has become an everyday feeling. I'm a sad, pathetic loser. I can't snap out of it. All the odds are against me. Fate. God. Destiny. Whatever. It's like I'm paying for all the sins I've done. Well, in that case, I might not get anything I want. Ever.

Another Stupid Entry


4 months have already gone by, and August is coming to an end. Still, no job. What is it? Is it me? Am I too picky? Or maybe I’m just not that good as I thought I was. Why, the people who had 1- or even 3-month vacations even got a job faster than I. This is so frustrating. I’ve had dozens of interviews from dozens of companies. I’ve had the opportunities. I’ve been given the chances. I’d like to believe that I did my best in my interviews and exams. Am I not right for a good, satisfying career? Don’t I deserve to get what I want? Now I’m just sad. Really, really sad. I thought that my education would be enough. Crazy. Stupid even. Now, I’m fatter and I don’t even know my English that well anymore. This is really sad. I just wanna go back to school. Lord, please help me.

Now I’m really feeling the pressure. The little checklist that I had before…I accidentally erased it from my phone. Good thing. If I still had it, I’d be frustrated even more. I can’t take this any longer. I need a job. I’ll take anything that pays good. I’m desperate.

Another thing, at this point in my life, I’ve never felt so alone. There’s no one I can talk to. The group that I usually hang out with, well, let’s just say I can’t afford to hang with them anymore. That group’s composed of my friends who have high-paying or at least decent-paying jobs and those who have an endless supply of money. I’m sick and tired of “pretending,” so-to-speak. Plus, my birthday’s coming up. I really didn’t want to celebrate anymore because of the fact that I still don’t have a freaking job. Is it peer pressure? Yeah I guess so. What if I lied to them? Told them that my family planned something for me…nah, it won’t work. It can if I stick to it. Damn it. I’m living a double life. Triple. Quadruple even. I can’t stand this. I think I need to see a life coach. Or a therapist. Someone that can help me.

Back to my endless search for a decent job. I think I valued myself too much. Was I that arrogant that no one would hire me? Am I that kind of a person? Of an Atenean? I don’t think so. I’d like to think I walked out of the Ateneo with the proper values and skills. But why wouldn’t any company give me a chance? I don’t wanna think about this anymore. Maybe this is just a real case of bad luck. I mean, in all of my interviews, well, almost all, they were fun, and I think good even. My resume, as most of my interviewers shared, was very impressive. There should be no reason for my lingering unemployment. I hate it. I really do. If this is all just a matter of luck, fate’s punishing me for something. For not being honest with myself. I think I do need therapy.